No motivation. Not doing what I want to be doing, but not sure of what it is that I want to do. Spent most of yesterday marking out places in England on Google Earth - Elizabethan type places that I want to visit. What a waste of time. It's like I'd rather be there than here. And it's true. I tell people that I like being a lawyer more than I expected to. And that is true. But I also give the impression that I actually like it. And sometimes I do. But right now, everything is a chore. I don't want to do anything that I have to do and then when I go home, I don't want to do anything that I have to do at home. I've come to the conclusion that what I need to do is find something to look forward to. And I need to clean my desk at home. The nest building syndrome thing - just get some things in order and then I'll feel like everything is in order. So - I've got to find something to look forward to and I have to set some goals. And then I have to find the joy in doing them.
Something to look forward to: the trip to California for ORC. Working on costumes with my new serger.
Things that I need to get in order: my desk - my finances - my to do list. My crap in the basement. I need to freakin' move in to the place where I'm living. Been living at home for two years, nearly three now. I've just got to move in and make it feel like the place where I live, not just the place where I sleep and eat and try not to bother people. Yeah - I need to take responsibility by saying, this is where I live too, these are the things that I want to do with the place where I live and then do it and make it work with what the others need. And I need to just put my butt in the chair and work on the stuff on my work to do list.
No comments:
Post a Comment